


Aw, words...

by demonsonthemoon



Category: Deadpool (Comics), Hawkeye (Comics)
Genre: Akoiro!Clint Barton, Arospec character, Clint doesn't want to talk about it, Discussion of feelings, Gen, labels are weird, lack of discussion of feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-20
Updated: 2016-06-20
Packaged: 2018-07-16 04:47:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,651
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7252987
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/demonsonthemoon/pseuds/demonsonthemoon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which a movie is not being watched, a pizza is being eaten, and Clint annoys all of his friends by complaining about he and Jess' break-up again.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Aw, words...

**Author's Note:**

> Written for #Aggressively Arospec Week.
> 
> Characterisation is mostly based on the Aja/Fraction Hawkeye run and on Hawkeye VS Deadpool, though it's the first time I write any of those characters so... be aware.

It's raining, and windy, and so the curtains are drawn and the television turned up louder than usual. It's not that Clint's afraid. But the sound of rain took a different tone after... after what happened to Gil.

If Kate indulges him, it's probably not too bad.

Speaking of Kate, she's finished painting the last toe of his right foot in purple. She nudges him, and he raises his leg above her head to let it rest on the back of the couch while she moves on to his other foot. He reaches down with one hand, and Wade obligingly passes him another slice of pizza, otherwise totally engrossed in the movie they've been watching. Clint thinks it was something about Jane Austen. But there's a lot of blood on the screen, so maybe not.

He turns back to watching Kate work and tunes out both the noise from the movie and Wade's mumbled comments.

« Why did I break up with Jessica again ? »

The immediate response is two perfectly-in-sync groans. Clint doesn't blame his friends. He kind of want to groan at himself too.

Kate finishes painting his toes, puts the bottle of nail-polish away and immediately pushes his leg off her lap. She turns towards him and sits on her knees.

She has her pissed-off face on, so Clint starts staring at the ceiling.

« It's because you have commitment issues, » Kate says coldly, stubbornly.

« I don't ! » Clint feels something warm and humid on his chest. He straightens up and looks at his shirt. « Aw, pizza. »

Kate raises an eyebrow.

« I don't have commitment issues. I'm very committed. I'm committed... I'm committed to my job. »

« You've been threatened to be kicked out of the Avengers at least three times in the past six months. »

« They don't deserve you, » Wade kindly comments around a mouthful of peperoni pizza.

« Thank you, Wade. »

« Why are you even here, by the way ? » Kate asks, which seems rude considering she came in after him.

« Fanservise », Wade replies.

Clint shrugs. « Yeah, well... I got a dog ! That's a big commitment, right ? Taking care of an animal. »

Lucky lets out two short barks from where he had been nodding off in a corner of the room, and starts licking Wade's fingers when the man reaches towards him.

Kate only rolls her eyes. « This mutt is literally a stray you lured in with _pizza_. »

« I knew we had a lot in common, » Wade says, nuzzling the dog's face.

« Well, I'm taking care of _you_! I'm doing the whole... mentor-thing, or whatever. »

« Most of that _mentor-thing_ is just letting me crash at your place, which I honestly only do because if I don't I'm worried you'll forget to eat so... try again. »

Clint sighs. He drops his half-eaten slice of pizza in an empty box and runs a hand through his hair, not caring about the greasy sauce that's probably all over his fingers.

« What do you want from me ? » he says to Kate, like it's a challenge.

She folds her hand into a fist, puts it against his forehead and pushes. « I want you to use your futzin' words. Not ask us. Give us your own answer instead. »

« You just missed out on Lizzie Bennet throwing a hatchet into a zombie's head, » Wade informs them from his spot on the floor.

Clint reaches a hand towards Lucky, but the dog seems too confortable in Wade's lap to pay any attention to him. Traitor.

« Well, I'm not good with words. If you put a word on something, it becomes real. And then you're stuck with it forever. It sure would be nice to just be a guy shooting arrows at people who do bad stuff. But no. I'm Hawkeye now. I have to follow all these rules and pretend that I'm a model in case the Times want to take my picture and I can't even swear in case some kids are listening and their parents start to complain to SHIELD that super-heroes are ruining their children's language. Words suck. »

Someone presses a hand to his knee, and only then does Clint notice that Wade has paused the movie and is turned towards him, mask only half-covering his face and tomato sauce on his chin.

« Hey. It doesn't have to be like that, you know. I'm pretty sure I'm missing half the context here, but words, man... names, labels, they don't have to stick forever. They're just a bunch of letters. You use them, you drop them away, it isn't more complicated than condoms. » He grins at his own joke, and Clint can't help but smile too.

He feels tiny. He feels young. He feels like a child, and he's embarrassed.

« I've never broken up with a girlfriend over condoms. »

« Then you're a lucky guy ! » Wade says, patting his knee in a friendly way that still hurts a little, considering Clint's body is pretty much one big hematoma at least 70% of the time.

« I hacked his computer- »

« Jesus Christ, Kate ! You checked my search history ! »

« Little trick I picked up in L.A. Anyway, Clint's on the aromantic spectrum. »

And that's it, the word has been said, and so Clint lets himself fall back on the couch, an arm over his eyes. For a second he wonders what it would be like to take off his hearing aids and just ignore the world for a while. Bathe in the smell of cheap pizza and nail-polish. It's kind of a disgusting smell.

« Cool. Slept with a guy who's aro once. Sweet kid. Made me the best pancakes I've ever tasted. »

« I'm not making you pancakes, » Clint grumble.

« You didn't say you weren't gonna sleep with me, » Wade points out enthusiastically.

Clint raises his arm off his eyes to check whether Wade is serious, but the man just shrugs and keeps smiling. Figures.

« So that's the context. But instead of finally stopping the endless whining about his breakup, he keeps going on and on about it anyway, » Kate continues, raising her arms dramatically.

Wade shrugs, again, because simple acceptance seems to be his way of going about _anything_ , and Clint finds it kind of inspiring and terrifying all at once. He supposes that this attitude might be a side-effect of technical immortality, though maybe it's inherent to the guy. Wade's weird.

« Hawkeye. My dude, » he starts, patting Clint's shoulder. « It's totally super-fine not to use labels if you don't want to. But you got to let go of your thing with Jess. I mean, there's a reason you broke up with her, isn't it ? »

« No. »

Wade twists his neck to look up at him, so Clint obligingly looks away from the ceiling. Wade is rising an eyebrow, obvious despite his mask.

Clint shrugs. « There's no actual reason for our break-up. Or, well... Actually, there are loads. But that's because I did everything I could to have her break up with me. »

« Why ? »

Kate is silent, sitting back on the other end of the couch and watching them. She's been trying to get to the root of this problem for weeks now.

« I just... couldn't, you know ? »

Wade shakes his head. Of course he doesn't know. Nobody fucking knows.

« I couldn't stay with her. It was the same thing with Bobbi, it's just... Damn, they're so futzing perfect, you know ? They're smart, they're beautiful. They care so much. And I was so sure I was in love, you know ? So sure. But the relationship thing... The relationship thing is a killer. It all sounds so damn magnificent on paper, but then you're actually stuck with the word _boyfriend_ and everything goes to shit and I can't look at them without thinking that I need to get out. »

« Hey... » Wade's voice is soft. It's so soft it's ridiculous, because this is Deadpool we're talking about. But hey. Clint has found out that Deadpool is great with kids. He's found out that he's good movie-night company. So maybe it shouldn't be that surprising.

It still makes Clint feels like he's a six-year old kid who just came home crying, though, and that pisses him off.

Clint rolls his eyes.

« Hey, » Wade starts again, more firmly this time. « Relationships aren't for you. Great ! Big futzing deal ! It doesn't mean you didn't love them. You didn't owe them shit then. You sure don't owe them shit now. »

Kate cuddles up next to him, slowly, leaving him time to protest. He doesn't.

« I broke their hearts. »

Wade shrugs. « I've done that to other people before, and for worst reasons. »

« I'm sorry I forced you to talk about it, » Kate says softly. « But I don't want to stand to the side and watch while it eats you up. Because it doesn't have to eat you up. Bobbi and Jess, they're strong. Maybe you broke their hearts, but I'm sure you're not the first one to do that. And they'll get over it. And they'll forgive you. »

There is nothing that Clint could say to that. He isn't sure if he believes Kate, but he doesn't _not_ believe her either. So he just hums softly n the back of his throat as Kate settles her head against his shoulder.

« Like the Hawk-lady said, » Wade adds, turning slightly to smile at the pair of them. « And, seriously, the label thing ? If it doesn't help you, don't bother. I mean, I was cool with finding out I was pan, but not everybody reacts the same to those kinds of things, you know ? »

Clint nods, doesn't argue.

Wade turns back towards the TV, puts the film back on. Clint and Kate actually watch, this time, though there isn't much of the movie left.

As the credits start rolling, Clint clears his throat. « I'm akoiromantic, » he says, voice clear and unwavering, somehow.

Kate smiles and tightens her fingers around his wrist.

« Cool, » Wade responds.

And it is. It's _cool_.

Clint frowns.

Then shrugs.

 


End file.
